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Post by Nymiane on Apr 9, 2005 22:02:27 GMT -4
{WARNING} Disturbing and Psychotic! {/WARNING}
Alone I stood, my head held up high My back against you, it was about bloody time! Oh! My body it quivered so! That steam arose when I touched the snow! But anger arose and fed my hate.. I could not control it, perhaps it your fate..
So I wandered to the shed, where my tools they lay And I took my axe and chanted "slay" You stumbled and screamed, you begged and you cried, But I kept on swinging long after you died.
Your blood now dripping from everything, But I kept right at it, swing after swing. I chopped and butchered, your form I hacked It was true that I had finally snapped. So I stood there smiling at your every limb, My face quite pleased and not so grim.
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Post by Icor on Apr 10, 2005 5:31:49 GMT -4
Fuckin' A.
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Post by Nymiane on Apr 10, 2005 8:47:51 GMT -4
Aya, Danke. ^_~
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beez
Peasant
The Writing Tutor
Posts: 10
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Post by beez on May 14, 2005 20:43:02 GMT -4
Well, Nym, you have official freaked me out when it comes to killing someone. Seriously, I think that you would be a great serial killer, even though I am not asking you to do any of that, mind you.
This was very good. In my opinion, grammar was supurb and ideas flowed nicely. Well done.
-james
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Post by Nymiane on May 14, 2005 20:50:22 GMT -4
Well, thank you. A little bit of information on this poem: I wrote this poem after I found out about what a "best friend" said about me. They betrayed me in the worst sense I think. I was very angered, felt betrayed, and felt the need to 'kill' the person, in my mind, heart and that I did achieve.. Greatly. I think it's my favorite short, dark piece. (One of my favorites..)
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Post by Icor on May 14, 2005 20:50:34 GMT -4
Being freaked out is great, isn't it? Har har. No, seriously though. You're right Beez. The way she's written this is both mysterious but overly revealing at the same time. I don't know -how- you managed to do it, but it made me afraid. Somewhere around the middle, it made me honestly afraid.
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