Post by Nymiane on Dec 1, 2008 12:19:33 GMT -4
This is a REAL letter to a lover. It's a rambling mess, but that's what love is.. a rambling mess..lol.
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I’m hurt, for many reasons I’m hurt and broken.
I feel like pieces of me, and not just my heart are shattered and can’t be put back together.
I want to know how to piece myself back together, but I just don’t know how. I don’t know if you can help or not. I feel like I’m curling up on the inside and awaiting death. A little dramatic I know, but it’s how I feel. I don’t feel like I’m living, or that I’m alive. Why? I have what I want.. I think.
This isn’t a rant on how you make me feel like utter shit, or how I tear you down so you can feel the way I do. This is me expressing how I feel, and I’m sorry if it offends you, but I - Love you still.
I still love you with every breath, every blink, and every beat of my damaged heart. I still want to be with you, no matter how much it hurts. I want to bleed with you, and you with me.
I want I want I want… I want to build dreams with you and make them come true. I want a house, a house that we can make memories in, a place where we can make love, and fight to just make up. I want to marry you, I want to mother your children..I want I want, I want you.
I hate you so much, but I love you even more. I love you so much, and I hate you.. Is this what love is? We’ve had such perfect examples of misery from our parents, but never love. I don’t know if I’m capable of true love… are you?
I feel like giving up on this, time after time. I wonder if I’m strong enough, if you’re strong enough to deal with me. I cry not because of you, but because of me… because I am a loathsome person, that doesn’t deserve you. I’m miserable because of my self expectations, and how I should be, where I should be, when I should be there. It saddens me because we’re not where I thought we would be.. It’s not you, I’m not even sure if it’s me… it seems like it’s everyone else, fighting us to the end.
How can things change, will things change, and should they change... I don't know...
It makes me sick.. I love you…
Love,
Your wounded half.
-----------------------------
I’m hurt, for many reasons I’m hurt and broken.
I feel like pieces of me, and not just my heart are shattered and can’t be put back together.
I want to know how to piece myself back together, but I just don’t know how. I don’t know if you can help or not. I feel like I’m curling up on the inside and awaiting death. A little dramatic I know, but it’s how I feel. I don’t feel like I’m living, or that I’m alive. Why? I have what I want.. I think.
This isn’t a rant on how you make me feel like utter shit, or how I tear you down so you can feel the way I do. This is me expressing how I feel, and I’m sorry if it offends you, but I - Love you still.
I still love you with every breath, every blink, and every beat of my damaged heart. I still want to be with you, no matter how much it hurts. I want to bleed with you, and you with me.
I want I want I want… I want to build dreams with you and make them come true. I want a house, a house that we can make memories in, a place where we can make love, and fight to just make up. I want to marry you, I want to mother your children..I want I want, I want you.
I hate you so much, but I love you even more. I love you so much, and I hate you.. Is this what love is? We’ve had such perfect examples of misery from our parents, but never love. I don’t know if I’m capable of true love… are you?
I feel like giving up on this, time after time. I wonder if I’m strong enough, if you’re strong enough to deal with me. I cry not because of you, but because of me… because I am a loathsome person, that doesn’t deserve you. I’m miserable because of my self expectations, and how I should be, where I should be, when I should be there. It saddens me because we’re not where I thought we would be.. It’s not you, I’m not even sure if it’s me… it seems like it’s everyone else, fighting us to the end.
How can things change, will things change, and should they change... I don't know...
It makes me sick.. I love you…
Love,
Your wounded half.