Evil Within Myself

[Greenhand]

From so far away I hear your call
Now racing to find you
I feel your heart break to pieces once and for all
See each one shatter as it hits the ground
Across the distance, I hear the agonizing sound
Someone is hurting you
Realization comes with a start
I'll take this ancient dagger
And pierce their evil heart!
They won't even have time to scream
So fast will I seek my revenge.
This must be some dream,
As I approach you and begin to seek
Your antagonist, so deeply hated
I feel my knees go weak
It is I who has caused you this horrible pain
Realization comes with a start
So I take this ancient dagger
And now pierce my evil heart.

[Nymiane]

it loses it's flow a little, I think. But great detail.. Good Job! It's another Poem I can relate to.

[Greenhand]

Yeah, this is one that I kind of forced myself to write along certain lines rather than just letting it be written. =X

[jstewart]

Greenhand,

I agree with Nymiane.. It does lose focus to it, however, at least you wrote something, unlike me, who sometimes finishes a poem in two weeks..

Nice job,

-J. Stewart