Greenhand
Peasant
Truth Seer
Fear me, for I am...
Posts: 37
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Post by Greenhand on Sept 9, 2004 23:57:51 GMT -4
They all told me not to Look how they stare They all told me not to But I'll never care
A treasure like you; How could this be? A treasure like you; A monster like me
You're fashioned from gold Oh, how you shine You're fashioned from gold And now you're all mine
Studded with jewels What a pretty sight Studded with jewels On this dark winter's night
Your beauty consumes me But I'll never see Your beauty consumes me The evil set free
A pretty new trinket To eternally admire A pretty new trinket Of danger most dire
They all told me not to Look how they stare They all told me not to But I'll never care...
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Post by PyroTechGod on Sept 12, 2004 22:09:53 GMT -4
Very nice. I like the repetition. Well used, and not overdone.
"A treasure like you; A monster like me"
Stuck out at me. I like!
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 12, 2004 22:11:38 GMT -4
Ohh, I really like this one... Love the flow.
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Greenhand
Peasant
Truth Seer
Fear me, for I am...
Posts: 37
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Post by Greenhand on Sept 13, 2004 17:23:23 GMT -4
-^^- Thanks. You may have noticed that I am rather fond of repetition - if I ever overdo it, don't hesitate to tell me so I can fix it!
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 13, 2004 17:38:49 GMT -4
No, No.. You have used it properly I think.. Love it.
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Post by injuredone on Oct 6, 2004 21:10:32 GMT -4
Very, very good! First poem I have read on the boards and I am totally impressed!
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Post by Nymiane on Oct 7, 2004 19:34:54 GMT -4
Greenhand is very talented...not much to gripe about with her work!
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Post by jstewart on Oct 10, 2004 2:32:56 GMT -4
Greenhand,
The comments before mine basically take the words right out of my mouth.
Good job,
-J. Stewart
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Greenhand
Peasant
Truth Seer
Fear me, for I am...
Posts: 37
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Post by Greenhand on Oct 16, 2004 23:52:51 GMT -4
*anime fall* Wow...*picks self up*...I never knew so many people liked my poems. =O ...shucks. -^^-
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Post by injuredone on Oct 17, 2004 22:05:28 GMT -4
Believe it! *Smiles*
You are the real deal!!
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