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Post by Nymiane on Sept 21, 2007 17:57:26 GMT -4
Okay.. Numba wona. here we go. Breena came to a halt upon her horse as she entered a clearing, and as she dismounted she let a long drawn out sigh pass over her lips. "I think we lost them." -- I started in the middle, or at least not the very beginning of what this character has went through. Though as it goes on, you'll see how I end up explaining it. -- She muttered to her horse, and gave him a gentle pat. Breena Callaghan had recently started her 'business' up again, and her recent clients weren't very happy. -- Now, as I said before... if you can write a story, you can rp. It's like writing a story. You need to be aware of your surroundings, your characters thoughts, actions, as well as your rp partners. So, now it's your turn. What are you going to do with your character? Is he going to meet up with Bree, how and why? Does he know her, is he the one chasing her? Post, and I'll critique. Don't forget detail.
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Post by skorm on Sept 21, 2007 18:04:15 GMT -4
Skorm sat by the river Bed laying out his clothes to dry off in the sun, in the distance he could hear a rustling noise. " startled deer" he thought to himself. he went back to arranging his pack from last night's campsite
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 21, 2007 18:13:17 GMT -4
Now, you'd probably want to expand this a little bit more. It was a good start, but somewhat vague. I.E. of a better way to put it. --
Skorm sat down by the river bed, his clothes were laying out in the sun to dry. He had been caught in the rain the previous night, and it had drenched him from head to toe. As a rustle in the distance was heard her quirked a brow, thinking to himself 'just a deer.' He then went back to arranging the things in his pack, for once his clothes were dry he was off again.
--
Now, notice I used a bit more detail? It said why he was laying in the sun, how his clothes got wet, and he noticed the disturbance in the silence.
So, my turn!
--
Breena slipped her sword from her back and placed it on the saddle of her horse, who pawed at the ground in anticipation of a treat. The woman rolled her eyes and handed the creature a handful of grass, and he was satisfied. As she made her way around the clearing she surveyed the area, her eyes instantly noted a set of footprints. The lithe form lowered itself to the ground, her fingers pressing upon the dirt, it was still fresh, perhaps from the night before.
-- I've noted my surroundings, in detail.
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Post by skorm on Sept 21, 2007 19:04:06 GMT -4
Skorm thorughly checked through his pack to see what he had left, he had very little rations, perhaps enough to last the day, his wine skin was empty, but that was no problem, the fresh cold stream seemed clean enough, , he searched deeper into his bag mentally checking of items, his tinder kit, a small pouch of coins, a lock pick, some thread and needle, so parchment, but at the bottom of the bad he found one of his valued posessions, an ornate flask, the silver flask was adorned on one side by vines and and an assortment of birds soaring, and on the revere side, it was covered with bones and the skeletal remains of what look to be dragons, on one side the cap is the face of a majestic eagle, and on the other, a ghastly visage , wrought in pure anguish. this single artifact was not what was important to Skorm, but it was it's contents, fine dwarven spirits, more valuble than his weight in gold. after he made sure the contents of his pack were secured, Skorm moved sat beside a log, and from the beneath the log , he pulled out his assortment of weapons, he had his two rapiers, quick elegent blades, keen fo striking the vitals of a foe. a long bladed dagger which he used when the situation arises, and a single throwing dagger, attached to a chain he wore around his neck, this dagger was no ordinary weapon, for one it's blade was a deep crimson, also it was fixed soundly to the chain, it was a perculiar weapon , not many have seen him weild it, and those how have cannot speak of the sight.
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 21, 2007 21:34:08 GMT -4
Yay! Much better. :} Beauteous! Now just remember punctuation and spell check. The good thing about forums is you can double, and triple check. However, when you're on Shim, you won't be able to check over and over, and if you make typos.. No one wants to see "Ahh, crap.. I mean log* hat* strife*" etc.. So what I tend to do is read over each line afew times, and even then a typo tends to slip through the cracks. -- In the distance Bree could hear the clanging of something, what she wasn't too sure. She quirked a brow in question and then proceeded to follow the noise. Often she stopped to see if she could hear it, and then her eyes would follow the pathways, that this being obviously took. As Bree grew nearer to the man, she stayed in masking wood, peering out at whoever this may be. She bit her bottom lip and stepped out from the shadows, revealing herself, along with speaking. "Well, it's an exceptional day, is it not?" -- In this case, I knew you wanted me to rp with you, but ALWAYS ask the person you are about to roleplay if you can join, you don't want to disturb them, or ruin their plotline, and feel free to discuss their plots and ideas with them in private. :} It's a good way to keep on tract, and have the same wave length.
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Post by skorm on Sept 22, 2007 12:37:58 GMT -4
Skorm paused for just a second, " a woman's voice" he thought to him self, he clasped his chain-dagger around his name and briskly walked over to his clothes lain out in the sun. as he went to grab his worn leather pants he called out " well isn't every day alive an exceptional day?'
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 24, 2007 13:06:36 GMT -4
Wow, my last post was shat. >.< That's what I get for posting before I go to bed. --
The woman pursed her lips in thought for a moment, and as they relaxed she spoke again. "No, I don't think so. For there are days that you wish you were not alive, and then that would be highly exceptional. Would it not?" The lithe figure then stepped into the light, which nearly bounced off of her porcelain skin, and her blue eyes pierced through the man's own eyes. "However, I don't think this topic is highly appropriate for us to be discussing." She chuckled and flipped her chestnut hair over her shoulder.
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Post by skorm on Sept 24, 2007 21:38:42 GMT -4
Skorm turned around to face the stranger, his chest was covered scars, the mostly emanated like a spider web on the left side of his chest, they were quite noticeable, they were light compared to his slightly tanned skin. held his leather pants in front of him and smirked as he said " i suppose you're right, you've seemed to have caught me with my pants down" skorm began to put his legs in to his worn leathers when he said " so do you find your self often sneaking up on nude strangers?"
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 25, 2007 11:29:42 GMT -4
The woman's eyes flowed over the bare form of the stranger before her, she would have giggled had she not caught a sight of the scars. Instead she just smiled, inwardly thinking of the marred body.
"Yes, I do. I travel a great deal, and seem to stumble upon nude men and women! I often join them though."
With that said she winked. There was truth within her words, and most often Bree spoke the truth, but it was hard to tell with her, whether she was being honest, or simply snarky.
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Post by skorm on Sept 25, 2007 12:16:41 GMT -4
Skorm pull pulled up his pants and turned to grab his tunic, he couldn't help but smile at the beautiful woman's comment. as he slipped he tunic on nonchalantly he said " well i'm sorry that your late" he gazed upon her beautiful features assessing her. he than looked in to her eye and said " but thats not always safe, some strangers will hurt you , just because they can" he then turned back to his pack and pulled out a small portion of bread and dried meat, "breakfast?" he asked offering her what little he had.
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 25, 2007 13:02:12 GMT -4
She silently watched as he dressed himself, starting with his pants and then moving towards his tunic. A small chuckle slipped from her as he went on to speak of the danger of meeting strangers, this caused her to shake her head side to side. "It is such a dangerous place, for a woman to be wandering aimlessly.." With that said, she lifted the back of her hand to her forehead, her eyes drifted to the side and soon her head followed. (This was a display of a fine melodramatic act.) The woman chuckled again and waved a hand towards him. "No, No.. I already had my fill.."
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Post by skorm on Sept 25, 2007 13:46:24 GMT -4
Skorm put the food back into his pack, sat down on the old log next to his camp site " well you at least have the attitude of some one who thinks they can take care of them self." he slipped his tattered boots on at a time, then turned to her and said " so what brings you this deep into the woods" he then picked up is dagger in one hand, tossed it up gently and then in one liquid movement, plucked it from the air and sheaved it in his right boot.
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 25, 2007 14:30:51 GMT -4
Breena rolled her eyes at the man's words, her tongue flicked at the back of her teeth in an agitated motion. Her lips parted as if she were to retort to his words, but she held it back, certainly not worth a tongue lashing.
As the man displayed his fancy movements with his dagger, she turned her nose to the air, and clapped lightly. "Bravo, Bravo.." She puckered her lips and moved them to the side in a smirk. "I am running for my life, interesting, is it not?" She said rather plainly, it was hard to tell if she were jesting or not.
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Post by skorm on Sept 25, 2007 16:27:36 GMT -4
skorm shook his head with miniscule smile, " seems like every one claims they are doing that in these times." he stood up and fastened his rapiers , on cross his back over his left shoulder, and the other across his lower back. he then bent over and picked up flung his pack over his right shoulder and squatted by the flowing river to fill his wine sack , " well i wish you luck in evadeing your pursuers, but i grow tired of these woods" he said with out looking up.
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 25, 2007 16:57:39 GMT -4
Breena lifted a brow in mild amusement, and then she turned her head to regard her companion, Tor. He was as dark as the night sky, his form massive and bulged with muscle, and when he moved they rippled. "Hm. Well, I hate to bore you, but I have some running to do." With that said she dipped her head in a bow, her hand then rolled out in front of her before gripping onto the saddle. "I hope you fine entertainment worth you while.." She snickered and then pulled herself up on her steed, her feet finding the stirrups easily.
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Post by skorm on Sept 25, 2007 20:19:42 GMT -4
Skorm stood up from beside the water and stretched his legs , he turned to her and said, i didn't mean to offend, i just don't like to spend to much time in the same place. i am just a simple wanderer moving never staying one place for to long" from his bag he pulled a tattered cloak and draped it around him, he pulled the collar up to cover his mouth. " you can rest here a if you want, do not worry about your pursuer's"
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Post by Nymiane on Sept 27, 2007 20:22:57 GMT -4
A grin stretched across her face as she watched the man stand to his full stature, his legs tensing as they stretched and then relaxed once again. "Oh, Sir, I am not offended by any means.." She chuckled softly, her horse beginning to grow antsy as he stood in place. And so the woman turned him in small circles to get his feet moving for just a moment. Breena then peered over her shoulder, a gentle wind brushing locks of hair from her face, and then as she turned her head to face the man again, the wind blew her hair back into her face. A hand dipped low to pat the horse upon the neck, and the woman chuckled again, her eyes darting towards the man as his words slipped from his mouth. "I am not nearly as worried as they should be." The woman paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing.
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Post by skorm on Oct 2, 2007 16:22:47 GMT -4
Skorm looked up towards the sky to judge the time, as he did , he noticed a large flock of birds, flying out of the trees from the direction that the woman emerged from. it was odd he thought to him self, but then he heard rustling from up in the woods, her pursuers he thought. he listened closely to try estimate their numbers, he put put a finger mouth signally her to be quiet. he then looked at her and held up 3 fingers and then pointed to the direction of where the noise was coming from.
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Post by Nymiane on Oct 2, 2007 16:39:47 GMT -4
Breena's eyes followed the man's gaze, her brow's furrowed as she watched the birds flee from their perches. She pursed her lips and extended a sturdy arm, motioning for the man to grab a hold of it. "Come with me, I am not fleeing, just come with me." She whispered, repeating herself a few times, the last of her words flowed over her lips in an agitated tone. Beyond this clearing, not far away were her brother's, they were to set up a sort of ambush, and as always, Bree was the bait.
"Quickly!"
She called out, her hand trembling from not fear, but the thrill of it all. She tried her best to contain a giggle, but she failed, as a few slipped from her.
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Post by skorm on Oct 2, 2007 17:13:45 GMT -4
Skorm took her hand "well then if you know what your doing" he whispered to her he turned back to the area where the men were coming from " but i could take them here and you could leave" Skorm used his free hand to draw the the dagger from around his neck and firmly wrap the chain around his arm
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